We're moving!

For everyone that's been following this blog, I just want you to know that the blog is moving to its own site: http://www.costlyspeech.com.

See you guys over there!

P.S. I didn't plan to move away from Blogger on Independence Day. But it is a little ironic.

Taking a break...

I know. I've been gone for a while. I haven't even posted since Father's Day.

My bad. I'll be back soon, I promise.

There's so much I've wanted to blog about, such as:

• Michael Jackson's death and the unbelievable response to it
• The absolutely horrible, hilarious and ridiculous 2009 BET Awards (which was even worse, seeing as how it was supposed to be a "tribute" to Michael Jackson... it DEFINITELY did not represent the King of Pop, or any Black people for that matter, in an honorable manner...)
• The ongoing situation surrounding the Iran election
• That Mark Sanford guy that everybody's talking about
• How much I loved the new Transformers movie

Just to name a few topics of interest.

Recently, I've just been bogged down with work, work, and more work, so I had to take a brief hiatus from blogging. But it should be easing up soon, so I can get back to doing what I love to do the most: expressing myself.

In the meantime, stay caught up with what's going on in the world around you, and don't you dare watch BET.

Adios for now.

Happy Father's Day!

(This post is specially dedicated to my own dad, David L. Hudson, Sr., the best father a son could ever have.)

On this Father's Day of 2009, I wanted to make sure I fully understood what a father is. I'm 20, and I'm going into my last year of college. I should probably know what it takes to be a father. (Even though I'm not even trying to think about having kids anytime soon.)

So I went to the dictionary. According to Merriam-Webster, here's what it means to be a father:

fa•ther: n., a man who has begotten a child

Okay, now wait... that can't be all there is to it, right? All I have to do to be a father is have a kid? I mean, I guess technically that's what it means. But I know a lot of men that don't have any children of their own, but have definitely served as fathers to others.

So what is it that really makes a man a father?

When I really start to think about it, there's so much that goes into being a real father that I couldn't even try to cover it all in one blog post. But there a few main points that I have to list. And hopefully that sheds some light on what it really means to be a father.

So let's begin.

1. A father takes care of his children.

This should be an obvious point. But let's face it... all too often, "fathers" don't do this simple task. (And yes, I used those quotation marks for a reason.) When I say simple, however, I don't mean easy. Because it's definitely no easy task to take care of kids.

And many "fathers" can't stand up to the task. Especially in the Black community. According to recent statistics, roughly 50% of Black children in the U.S. are raised by single mothers. 50%. Half. So, basically, in the Black community, it's as likely for a child to be raised without a father as it is to flip a coin and have it come up tails.

That's frightening to me. Because, no offense to my mother, but there is so much that my dad contributed to my life, to the point where I can't even think about how I would be without having had him in the house growing up. I mean, I might have a skinny 6'0" frame, but I feel like I've grown into a very strong young man--emotionally, mentally, and spiritually--largely in part to my dad's care. Without his presence, though... I just don't know.

But let's continue.

2. A father trains his children in the way that they should go.

Another reason why the father is crucial is because he, along with the mother, should teach his children how to act and how to live. Whenever you're placed in a new environment, the best way to learn how to adapt to that environment is by learning from someone who's familiar with that environment. So when a child is born into the environment of life, he/she needs to learn how to adapt by learning from someone who's familiar with life.

And that's where parents (plural) come in. A single mother can train a child, but it undoubtedly helps the child to see both a man and a woman living the right way, especially in interaction with one another as husband and wife. And from the male perspective, how will a young boy know how to be a good husband and father when he grows up if he doesn't have a good example for it in the home? ...good question, right?

But even when there is a father in the home to train his kids in the way that they should go, kids don't always obey the rules. So what's a father to do then?

3. A father disciplines his children.

I can't speak from the father's perspective, but from the son's side, I know that I've given my dad a fair amount of trouble over the last 20 years. I mean, I'd like to think that I've been a fairly good son, but no one's perfect, including myself.

Either way, whenever I messed up, I could count on my dad to discipline me. His discipline may have seemed harsh at the time, but as I've gotten older, I can see that he only did it for my protection.

Now again, no offense to my mother. But I've always been more fearful of my dad's discipline than my mom's... even as a 20-year-old. There's just something about a father, at least from my own experience, that is more emphatic and commanding. If I mess up and my mom says something about it, I'll debate with her as much as I humanly can. But if my dad says something about it, I don't even try to argue with him. I might catch an attitude sometimes, but I wouldn't dare backtalk my dad. But just imagine if I didn't have him there to discipline me...

Fortunately, there are many men that act as fathers for children that don't have their own fathers in the home. And that's excellent. But that doesn't completely fix the problem.

Here's an example. In my high school, I was blessed to have very knowledgeable and intelligent teachers. Every once in a while, though, they couldn't make it to class because of illness or doctor's appointments, or whatever. And that's when they called in a substitute teacher.

Now the substitute would take care of us during the regular teacher's day out, watching us for the class period, maybe showing us movies about what we had been learning, answering a few questions here and there. But it just wasn't the same as having the actual teacher in the classroom.

And that's the same way it is when the real father isn't in the home. Other "father figures" can do a great job of looking out for these kids, but it's just not the same.

But I can only grasp this concept so much, because my father was in the home, and did everything that a good father should do. Not to say he was perfect... because, as we've already said, no one's perfect. But he covered all of the basics of fatherhood, and went above and beyond what was expected. He gave me the example of a loving, caring, disciplined, hard-working, strong, Godly man. (I could think of many, many more adjectives, but I probably have a character limit on this blog post.)

So, today, as with every other day of the year, I have to say that I am extremely grateful to have the father that I do. I couldn't ask for anyone better.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Are role models really important?

I think so.

I've always been the kind of person to look up to certain people and to model the way I live my life after them. For example: my parents, MLK, Malcolm X, Gandhi, Obama, etc.

But yesterday, I watched an interview with Lil' Wayne and Katie Couric (which can be seen on YouTube, of course: part 1 and part 2), and I'm rethinking the whole purpose of role models.

When asking Lil' Wayne about his two children, Katie Couric posed this question: "Did you ever think, am I a good role model? You know, am I a good example for people on how to live their lives?" Wayne responded:

"I'm not an example for people on how to live their lives. And never in my life would I ever set out to be an example for people on how to live their lives. If you need an example for how to live, then you just shouldn't have been born."

Now, I'm not the kind of person to just accept or dismiss what someone has to say without thinking it through all the way. So when I heard Wayne answer that question, I immediately started thinking deeply about what he was saying.

And I agree with him... to an extent.

Personally, I know that I wouldn't be anywhere close to the person that I am today without the guidance of my parents. Their love, their care, and their patience have helped me extremely. But the example that they both set for me... I can't even put my appreciation for it into words.

This isn't to say that I always get along with my parents, because that's definitely not the case. I'm a 20-year-old college student, still coming into my own and learning how to make my own decisions. Obviously, we're going to disagree on a few things. But I still respect them greatly for being the upstanding people that they are, and the impact that they have had/are still having on my life is immeasurable.

With that said, however, I don't want to be my mom or my dad when I get older. I want to be me.

Trust me, I don't mean any disrespect towards them at all by that statement. But it would be foolish, in my opinion, to try to be an exact replica of anyone else. I'm an individual, and I have to act like an individual. Not to say that there aren't certain character traits in other people that I wan't to make a part of my own character. But to be just like anyone else is pointless.

And I think that's the point that Wayne was trying to get across in that interview. If you're trying to be just like somebody else, then you're not living a good life. You have to be yourself.

Following his statement that I quoted earlier, Wayne said:

"I am a great role model because I'm only a role model for two. And that's all. So why don't you worry about yours, and let them worry about theirs. I got mine."

In Wayne's opinion, he only needs to be a role model for his own two (soon to be four) children. But his children will have to realize that he's just that: a role model. Someone for them to model their lives after. Not duplicate.

The only question is, how good of a role model will Lil' Wayne be for his children? But I guess that's really not my concern. I'll worry about mine, and everyone else can worry about theirs.

Wayne's got his.

Safari 4 is the truth!

Being the very proud Mac user that I am, I've been quick to recommend Apple's Safari browser to all of my PC-using friends, ever since the browser became cross-platform. But it took me a while to download the new Safari 4, only because I was too lazy to download the necessary security update for my computer.

But I finally downloaded the security update a few days ago, and subsequently downloaded Safari 4...

WOW!

It's hard to find the words to express just how much I love this new version of Safari. But I'll do my best.

First, the new "Top Sites" feature is a great idea. Now, I already had all of my top sites in the "Bookmarks Bar," which is located under the URL field. But the new "Top Sites" page is simply beautiful to look at. For example, here are my own "Top Sites":

Now, you have the choice of either selecting your own sites to be placed on the "Top Sites" page, or letting Safari pick your top sites itself (based on the sites that you visit most often). Personally, I like some things to stay constant, and since Safari's picks change according to your browsing history, I decided to select my own sites.

Being the very visual person that I am, this makes my web browsing experience a little bit easier, and a lot more nicer. But the visual improvements don't stop there.

If you're familiar with the "Cover Flow" feature in iTunes (and newer iPods), you'll probably be very excited to see this same feature present in Safari 4 when you're browsing through your history and bookmarks. The "Cover Flow" here contains screenshots associated with each page in your history and bookmarks. This is extremely helpful, as it gives you a glimpse of every page that you've either visited or bookmarked.

The search features are also much improved in Safari 4. When typing in the Google search field in the browser toolbar, Safari will automatically suggest searches based on what you've typed, as a result of Google Suggest. For example, if I type in "lupe," the first suggestion that comes up is "lupe fiasco," which is exactly what I was about to type. What a smart browser!

Even better, however, is the new "Full History Search" feature. On the "Top Sites" page, there's a "Search History" field, with which you can fully search through all of the pages that you've recently visited. For example, if I type in "state department," the first result that comes up is an article that I read on msnbc.com about Hillary Clinton breaking her elbow. The words "state department" aren't in the page's title or URL, but the article itself states that Clinton broke her elbow "in a fall in the State Department garage."

That's what "Full History Search" means. (By the way, that's a shame about the elbow. I hope she gets well soon.)

So anyway, those are just a few reasons why Safari 4 is absolutely amazing. I must say, I'm quite impressed.

Way to go, Apple.

If you need some inspiration...

"Peaceful Warrior" is the movie you need to watch.

Now, about 7 hours ago, before I sat down to watch this movie, I felt like I had a great perspective on life. Looking back on it now, it was still a pretty solid perspective. But there was one problem in my thinking.

Anybody that knows me well knows that I love to enjoy life, as much as possible. Sometimes too much. But you live and you learn. Either way, I'm just not the kind of person that's always concerned about every little bad thing that might happen. I try to live the right way, and I take precaution, but I still like to take risks at the same time. You only live once... so you might as well enjoy it.

At the same time, I make it a rule never to have regrets. I feel like everything that's happened to me has happened for a reason, and without my experiences (both good and bad), I wouldn't be the person that I am today.

With that said, I do often find myself getting upset whenever I don't get what I want. Not to say that I'm spoiled, but when I aspire to a certain goal and don't reach it, it hurts me.

My bad, scratch that... it hurt me. Past tense.

That was before I watched this movie.

Don't get it twisted. "Peaceful Warrior" isn't your typical inspirational, feel-better-about-yourself movie. It might be the farthest thing from cliché that you'll find. But I'm not going to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it.

I will, however, write a few of the movie's quotes, and then you can probably understand the movie a little better.

• "A warrior is not about perfection, or victory, or invulnerability. He's about absolute vulnerability."
• "The journey is what brings us happiness... not the destination."
• "This moment is the only thing that matters."

So, in a few words, here's what I learned from the movie. Too often, I would get so caught up in perfection that I failed to fully appreciate the journey that I was taking. People would always say, "learn from your mistakes," but often times, anything less than perfect is seen as a mistake.

It's not. The only mistake is when you don't take advantage of each moment on the journey. Like that first quote says, a warrior is "about absolute vulnerability." No one's perfect, or invulnerable... we're all human. But when you learn to master yourself, and bring the best out of yourself at every moment, THAT is when you truly become a warrior.

It's extremely difficult to put this into words. It's really something that you have to meditate on for a while to understand. And on that note, I don't know if anyone (including myself) can fully understand this, no matter how long they meditate on it.

But watch the movie first. That will at least put you on the right track.

A daily journal?

I'm not going to call it a diary, even though that's really what it is. The word "journal" just sounds better to me.

Anyway, I've been meaning for a very, very long time to keep a daily journal, but I just never got around to it. Until last week. At 3:12 AM on Friday, June 12, 2009, I began writing in my journal. And I can already tell that this thing is going to be a huge part of my life.

I love to write. And I love to give my honest opinions. Sometimes, however, I have to keep my opinions to myself. But not with my journal.

It's also good because there are some things about me that only God and I know. But it's always therapeutic, at least for me, to get some personal issues off my chest. And writing it down is often the best way for me to get this stuff out. And my journal will listen to whatever I have to say, and it won't criticize me or judge me at all. It won't really give me any good advice, though, but oh well.

The other thing I like about this is how I'll be able to look back and see how my thoughts and actions have changed over time. I don't really have that ability yet; I just started last week. But in a year or two, or five, or ten? When I'm 30, looking back at how I thought as a 20-year-old is probably going to blow my mind.

Yeah... I really can't wait to write in my journal tonight.